whenever you see this on a youtube video for any company you know they are terrible and should be banned from doing business. that is why, when i am elected secretary of war,
people with 100 followers on this site have faqs like “thx for the nice messages but I dont have time to answer all of them!” really, are you sure, because I have 4,388,070,000 followers and I still answer all of mine
can horses recognize that the horses on the merry go round aren’t real? or can they not even comprehend that those are resemblances of their own species? how close does a fake horse have to be to a real horse for a horse to recognize it as a horse
pet owners pay attention! even though it is september aka ¾ of the way through the year you still have to feed your pets!! just because we’re in the home stretch does not mean your dog or cat does not need food anymore. make sure to continue to feed your animals
Your best friend who moved away last year has returned to your hometown. You plan a nice indoor picnic for you to reconnect and have some fun. They call, tired, explaining how long the drive was and how they “really wanted to but have to reschedule.”
Carefully, you place the cheese platter and the salami back in your fridge, having to make room by throwing out half of your own birthday cake from last Wednesday. You worry that the half-cake now in your trash can will attract ants but realize that there is nothing you can do about it because the garbage-men don’t come for another four days.
It’s midday and you wish your friend was here so you could remember what fun times you used to have. Shaking the feeling off, you head outside and start walking through your neighborhood. It’s fall and severely windy. You shiver through the gusts and embrace the sun’s gaze. You wish you had brought your jacket to put over your plain grey sweatshirt.
A lady walking a dog passes by you. You make room for her and her pup, moving uneasily to the grass as the dog yelps at your feet. You want to say Good Afternoon, establish some sort of human connection, even to a stranger, but she has already moved past you. The cold covers up the terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Upset at yourself for the terrible decision to walk without a coat, you turn around awkwardly at the street corner and head back home. Several minutes pass until you again spot the lady walking her dog. She approaches you, and for the first time you miraciously have the confidence to take a long look at her face. She is smiling genuinely. You smile back. You kneel to pet her dog. It’s your favorite breed and you tell her that. She smiles again, introduces herself and you do the same. The sun bursts through the clouds and your phone vibrates from deep within your pocket. It’s your old friend and they have changed their mind, now ready to come over to your place, if that’s alright with you.
[A cold October afternoon. 4:00 PM. Mrs. Watson’s office hours. A small room with four desks, shared with three other professors. A brick wall interior with carpeted floors]
[Gerald knocks on the half-opened wooden door]
Gerald: Hi. Mrs. Watson? Um, I was hoping we could talk about my latest essay grade.
Watson: Sure, have a seat.
[Watson grabs chair and pushes it close to Gerald. Gerald fumbles in his backpack for the paper]
Gerald: Okay, so, I got a 99% on it and I was wondering what I missed because all you left for comments on it was “Perfect”
Watson: That’s right. I remember your paper. It was very good.
Gerald: Thank you. So, I was just wondering what I did wrong on it.
Watson: You didn’t do anything wrong. It was a very good paper.
Gerald: Then why didn’t I get a 100 on it?
Watson: I don’t give 100’s.
Gerald: But you said it was perfect. Doesn’t a 100 mean perfect.
[Watson quickly glances towards the brick wall to her left]
Watson: I don’t give 100s. In my class, a 99 is perfect.
Gerald: Why is that? Why isn’t a 100 a perfect score.
Watson: Because I don’t give perfects.
Gerald: But you just said a 99 is perfect.
Watson: Yes, a 99 is perfect for my class.
Gerald: I guess I’m not understanding why you don’t call a 100 a perfect score.
Watson: I do not like to give 100s in my class.
Gerald: Okay thank you for your time
Watson: Keep up the perfect work and you will continue to get 99s in my class
Gerald: Okay Mrs. Watson. Thank you.
[A fly buzzes in through the door as Gerald exits the room]
Watson: You let a fly in.
Gerald: I don’t think that was my fault.
Watson: Don’t open doors and it won’t happen in the first place.
Gerald: Okay, thank you for talking to me about my grade.
All I could think about was the future, the events that were to unfurl before me, like a carpet being let loose and unraveling on its own volition. Yes, the carpet would cease unfurling eventually, but the part that truly matters is the initial loosing, the climatic, yet gentle shift from a roll of carpet to a carpeted floor.
My eyes went to the sky. How fast do clouds move? Is it possible to race them? I know airplanes can go through them, so they are probably slower than 200 miles per hour, but how fast or slow are they exactly? I’m sure different types are probably slower or faster, but what I want to know is an average estimation of their speed.
How come we had to learn about the types of clouds in elementary school. Why is it that I still know the basic types. Well, I don’t really know them, but if you’re with someone and you point up at the sky indiscriminately and say “That’s a cumulonimbus” who is really so well-versed in sky culture that they would be willing to argue with you? Only seven people in your town, probably.
“Megan where are we?”
Megan picked her head up from the bottom of her window and reached for the map. After a minute of looking, she decided we were in either Iowa or Nebraska. “Did you know the capital of Iowa is Des Moines,” she added.
I did know that. I know all the capitals. The capital of Nebraska is Lincoln.
She placed her flip-flop-covered feet back on the dash and tilted her head towards me and smiled. The air conditioning was really cold so I turned it down one notch.
I was wearing my favorite sweatshirt. It was blue and thin and kept me the perfect body temperature. Well, I was cold earlier from the air conditioning but I had just turned it down a notch so I was feeling a lot better now.
“Do you remember that really ugly cat that used to come in to my neighbor’s garage because he kept it open for some reason?”
“Yeah, that cat was really ugly,” she said.
“Yes, but the garage was also ugly, so it was like they were made for each other.”
Megan and I laughed. The garage wasn’t really ugly. It was just a joke I had made for the sake of making her laugh. She smiled at me again and put her left leg over her right leg. Previously, her right leg was over her left leg.
“Is the air the right temperature for you?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s perfect. I was a little cold earlier.”
“Me too!” I said.
My right hand reached over towards her and landed on the shifting gear.
“Do you mind if I put the gear on the 2? I’ve only ever tried park, neutral, reverse, and drive before. I really want to know what the 2 gear does.”
Megan was cool with it, so I changed it to the 2. Man, she was the best.
“Hey, there’s a few nice looking stratio-nimulus clouds up there,” I pointed out to her.
A quiet and undeniable truth is that we are all driven by the most submerged emotions, the clandestine gut feelings that push us all on our paths. Our thoughts arise at the simplest of times. Among the greatest experiences are a silent hug on the sidewalk, a door releasing warmth on the way into the building, a twenty-minute call to an old friend.
I can read a hundred books and learn a thousand songs. I can laugh and wonder, think and create, cherish and seek charity. A loose leaf sheet of paper falls gracefully into the river and floats at first, before being instantly and unsympathetically dragged down by its own inner lodgings. All paper is the same; the words are what commands its importance.
All the rivers in Venice and all the lights in Paris cannot speak as an example for the world. The world is not defined by the landmarks, but the people who experience them. Wander! Explore the vast and uncertain paths of existence. Do not sink into the cave of regret or trespass in the ravine of self-doubt.
I Love You sounds the same whenever one hears it; the name of the speaker is the significance of the speech. The lull in a conversation is the moment for the deepest thoughts to emerge. The hushing silence of a sleeping dog is the time when you cherish the friend. The snow is longingly pursued at the cusp of winter, but we smile when it finally loses its grasp on the earth.
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“ [A cold October afternoon. 4:00 PM. Mrs. Watson’s office hours. A small room with four desks, shared with three other professors. A brick wall interior with carpeted floors]
[Gerald knocks on the half-opened wooden...](https://66.media.tumblr.com/4a8484c9887c30099d7f1f05f51d1a49/tumblr_nc6hhbkK3x1szw8z9o1_500.jpg)
